If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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