Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
