So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize