dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
