I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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