You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
