I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
