I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
pray to the hookup gods
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
