Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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