I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
