And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
