Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
