Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
