Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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