The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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