Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
