WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
