32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
