I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He felt like a one man threesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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