i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
