Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
