Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
