Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize