next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
