You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
