Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
