My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
