Is it normal to miss your booty call?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
