fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Couch. On fire.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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