i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
tell me about the fingering
Randomize