You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize