using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
