I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
