you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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