I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
