nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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