Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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