I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
