Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
