Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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