He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I could fuck to npr.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
