accomplished twins. life is a go
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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