I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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