Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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