my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My feet surprised me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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