I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
