Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
