WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
