She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
