that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
