Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
