Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
