Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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