Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize