Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
