How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize