I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
