"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
