We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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