If i come over, it means nothing
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
