I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
