i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
