and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize