sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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