omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
