Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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