..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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