actually, I'm a sock model
This girl is more easily done than said...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
