my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
